Today has been spent mainly organising how I will be able to survive while signed off from work. In my previous post, I explained how I was a few days short to be entitled to Sick Pay via Staples.
So today I phoned up the Jobcentre Plus ‘hotline’ concerning my options, and thankfully everything seems to be sorted for now – which is a huge weight off my mind! The down side is that I now have to wait a few days for stuff to come in the post, jump through a few more hoops, and hopefully by the end of it, perhaps I can actually get on with sorting out my issues.
I always thought that it was interesting how the ’system’ assumed that when you’re not working, you can do anything at any time to please the authorities. Now, if are unemployed and cannot find work, then to some extent I can agree with that. But I have been signed off by a professional, and yet still it feels that I am having to deal with everything BUT get better at the moment.
I have been signed off for two weeks to ‘reset’ and try to get back to normal. To ensure I don’t worry about things and start to get back on track. However, even through I have been given the opportunity to get better, already this is becoming more difficult.
I currently working for Staples in Cambridge, and without going in to vast details, it seems I am about 7 days or so away from being entitled to sick pay. Which means as soon as I showed my assistant manager my sick note from my doctor, I was not only given the time off in a very understanding manor (THANK YOU!); but unfortunately without pay, and so now I am screwed! I am now unable to survive generally (rent, food, bills etc), due to a catch 22 situation.
So now, even through it has been several hours since I was struck off temporarily, I am now more concerned about the situation I am in than I was before… I have now got an additional worry about how I am going to financially survive over the next few weeks. Any suggestions?
I am hoping to go to the Job Centre tomorrow to discuss what options are available to me.
Today was a new low day for me. Today, I went to my doctors asking for counselling, and hopefully beat the cloud hanging foolishly over me, and in turn I gained another title: “Suffering from Depression”.
Now, I know what is wrong with me, and I would rather not broadcast it to the world WHY I’m depressed. However, the fact I am finally able to speak about it instead of assuming something is wrong and trying to cover it up and/or trying make do is in itself is a powerful and liberating feeling.
I have not been able to sleep for days on end (and not in the keep turning over, seeing the clock and thinking that I haven’t slept anything kind – but in the I am sitting watching TV/watching a film to the sun rises kind) for weeks now. It has even gotten to the point where I have resorted to alcohol to numb/make me go to sleep. Which I know is wrong and foolish, however you never truly know how to manage something like this until you are in the thick of it and desperately trying to keep afloat.
It is actually rather difficult to explain how it feels to be this low. It’s harder to even sit here and type all this out. But I feel it is important to keep a diary of sorts about the next few weeks/months so I can see where I have been and how far I have travelled – and at least to have one goal for each day: write a blog post.
I suppose one way to describe my depression is that I am constantly feeling a pressure on my back, and on my chest. Every time I move, my back cracks in a very heavy, very stiff way. Every conversation I have with someone makes me concerned whether I am going to breakdown and cry during it – or whether I am going to survive it. I am even finding difficult to look people in the eye during conversations.
But today, all this changes. Today, I start the road to getting back on track.
I was just catching up on my podcasts / general web type stuff, and came across this. It was mentioned on Diggnation.com, about how an American doctor has found a cure to HIV/AIDs. What I do not get, is that why wasn’t this information on BBC News 24, Newsnight etc?
Below is a copy of an article written by Bob Morgan for the baldwincountynow.com website – mainly because the reasoning behind the cure and how the doctor came to it, is rather indepth, but I feel is important to spread around as far as possible.
I would also love to hear your comments about this discovery, and the lack of mainstream media response. Please comment below.
If you have never heard about Aleksandr Orlov from Compare the Meerkat (not to be confused with the car insurance site of a similar name), he is short and russian.
I love that little hairy munchkin, he is so cute, and yes his catchphrase finishes EVERY conversation in our household! So I thought I would search the web to see if you can get anything with him on… and what a surprise / shock – not as much as I thought there would be:
1. Aleksandr on Twitter The little furball is on twitter: www.twitter.com/Aleksandr_orlov – answering questions and generally talking Moscow.
3. Aleksander Orlov Ringtones / Message Tones / Answerphone Messages If you visit www.comparethemeerkat.com/downloads, Aleksandr has kindly recorded for your pleasure loads of ringtones, message tones and other musical / visual entertainment. You can even listen to the Orlov Family song… a must listen.
5. eBay crap – keyrings to fridge magnets No point linking to any of these, as they are bad quality home-made nonsense!
When will Compare the Meerkat / Compare the Market realise that they are sitting on a goldmine, and start producing high quality products for us to buy? Until that day comes, thats the best of the bunch!
